Awake at 3:30 a.m.-- thinking childhood

Again awake at 3:30 a.m. in the morning wondering about my self. Well people who know me well know that I have a habit off being awake at night and I sleep short hours, well it's not about that! I was reading something; which used to be my subject of interest at one point of time; it is still but I don't read the subject so much now, and i.e. Psychology. Just to give u an idea i used to study Psychology & Philosophy (name of the blog profile is inspired from the same Phil. short of philosophy) books a lot as a matter of interest in my graduation days. I was a formal student of Mathematics & Statistics and I really think they are no where different from these subjects. Psychology is broadly a study of variation and different types of effects on a particular data from different data sources and that is what exactly stat. is. As far as mathematics is concerned it is the same as philosophy. As they say " To be a great philosopher u have to be a good mathematician; and if u are a good mathematician u automatically become a philosopher".

Let's get back to the original topic i.e. revolving around 2 facts being awake at this hour n psychology. There have been a great deal of study on child psychology and in past decade there have been a ton of books published on child psychology. If you study the evolution of the subject child psychology was not the most written about topic, but it is now. I believe since earlier elder generation used to teach the younger generation about the same and now that has turned in to a mythical story. As a habit when ever I read, I try to relate the same to my experiences and surrounding; this may be the root cause of the issue I never read a comic book in my childhood. When I was reading the childhood behavior section, I came across a very strong aspect of child psychology and the one I personally think forms the basis of a person's behavior and major part of the personality.

The way a child's idea and imagination is viewed by people around him/her self.

Since I have passed through the same journey a long time back it's more of a retrospect. The amazing part is when I take the idea to my day to day interaction with kids and their perceptions I get even a firm on this idea. All of you can try this small experiment; which I have tried a numerous times. Whenever u are interacting with a kid or even an teenager share an idea which u found fascinating at that age with them, trust me whatever it is; it will capture their imagination. Be it cutting a paper and making an envelop or putting 2 pieces of mirror opposite each other and producing infinite images. Even if u share an idea which is just a fantasy it will work. The better part comes now that your comfort to share the idea will give you the glimpse of the fact that how welcoming ; people around you were to your ideas when you were a kid. Moreover the kid's adaptation and enthusiasm to share the idea with others; will give u a picture that what is he/she experiencing as of now.

The idea I am trying to bring to the table is these real life experiences will help you realizing your own self. There is no better way to see what you were as a kid, than interacting with one. Since all of us have groomed our selfs based on these psychological aspects. The way we have behaved in past have made us either change or better the act. We all are in a constant improvement program; we all want to be the best in whatever we do. The aspiration to do better and be better, for some turn a obsession of competition and others a bond with learning (that can be any ways), I am not judging which is a better or the right way since, these are 2 very broad categories and everybody chooses the same on their discretion. One thing I can definitely say is these are the foundation of one's psychology.

All of us are what we are and we cannot go back to our childhood, we cannot change it better it or for that matter even relive it. Kids around us are the only gateway for the same; so one thing which one should never do is discourage a kid, at the same it never ever stop guiding them. This is where one has to strike a balance as brilliantly as a ISRO ( i was about to write NASA but changed the same) scientist does at the time of launching a space shuttle. One should not boss the kids and tell them to do this and impose things on them, at the same time should guide them that what they shouldn't be doing. The freedom to express the thought is to be given and a kid should be encouraged to speak. If we can do the same one thing is sure we will make kids around us psychologically more sound and basically free.

The most important thing is; if you are free as a kid you become a spiritually free. Thus let the innocence live and thoughts flow, Santa and tooth ferry enchant their world. Since they are the best thing around. They are the only real gateway to childhood for you; the old doordarshan series and talks with friends can make you nostalgic; but they are the one who give you the chance to re-live the childhood once again.

Thoughts

The thought which started this:

Hi all I viewed a very funny video over youtube and posted the same on my facebook. There was laugh all around on the same. I then searched for uploads by the same person and found a bunch of videos posted by him over the web; all of them are songs recorded by running a karaoke over the desktop and recorded thru a web cam and posted on web. This man is in his late 50's or early 60's. This made me think about why he would do so, may be he has a passion of signing and never found time to vent it out or he is just a lonely man venting his loneliness out.

The thought I have on it:

This is like those moral science stories we read in primary school that somebody fell on the streets and others laugh; without realizing the pain of the person. Actually we have turned out to be the same kind of people our parents once warned us of.

Well but why this happens when we know all this, the same thing is happening with us like the old man in our videos, loneliness is making us insane. The main cause of the same is we have a crust around us. We no more laugh on each other since we are wary of the fact that our friends may get offended. We think by these deceitful approaches we will have everlasting relations. All of us are just trying to be politically correct and have turned into charlatan characters. Why don’t we anymore run into arguments if we think things are not the way we want, why we are afraid of asking questions and most important saying that I don’t know? The problem is we don’t want to question others since we don’t like the same ourselves. We think if I will say I don’t know everybody will feel I am ignorant of the facts.

Please tell me this did we liked all the subjects equally and played all the games with equal amount of enthusiasm in our school days. We are what we wanted to be; somebody loves Hindi movies and somebody rock music. I never liked cricket and know a jack shit about the game, and the same may be the case with a person who never liked tennis. We were never ashamed if we didn’t knew something; either that excited us so we wanted to know that or we were not interested in the same. Now we want to answer every question asked to us may be for that we are on Google for ages.

The probable solution I think of:

My friends’ life is not about finding answers to the questions people ask you it’s about finding the answer to the question you ask yourself. Life is beautiful why we have stopped enjoying it. Guys spend some time chatting about what you like and know what others interests are rather than playing with PSP/PS3 etc. There is no point of doing everything for a result and cause. Spend some time in useless mindless things; same as we have done as a kid; in creating those so called telephones and being happy as we invented something new. There no point developing tastes for Wine just because everybody talks about it. Just be happy about the beer belly you have crafted by investing a fortune in finding the best beer for you. We as it live in isolations, most of us are spending 18 hrs a day out of it and many like me stay alone. We are most of the times with people we have meet in our adulthood and still have inhibitions. So just shed your inhibition and be yourself; thus you will have people around you, who know what really you are. They will know you as you are with your shortfalls, mood swings and trust me will be by your side knowing you as you, not as your Exec. Bio

Loneliness will be there; but you will have people to share the same, and may be we never fall into a situation like our man in the video.

Setting Up for Failure….

Oh my friend …Let me help you…he heard this voice coming from behind, he turned and saw a wise looking genteel man. Sir, how may help you, he replied oh no my dear I am here to help you. Me he said with amusement and relaxation coming at the same time. Then the man said, my child I see you working so hard for your master and I am here to help you. He looked so confused at the same time felt so blessed, and then he said, but my master told me to do all this on my Owen. The man said oh don’t you worry my child I work for the same master, and that makes us brothers. I know the master for a long time and as he told me I will help you and get your work done. His eyes were glowing and they exchanged the slight as lovers. He said so why don’t you become my guide and mentor, why don’t you take the lead and I will continue working. The man said oh no you have been here and I should first learn from you, how to work here. Time passed and the man became his pal. Then one day master called him and said do you know people don’t like you? Do you know they don’t want you? He got shattered and asked the master I was just getting the work done and now you are saying me all this? Then the master said oh my child this happens this is the world, this is how things are done. Why don’t you take help from the Man I sent for your help, he is your friend. He was so delighted to here this and he jumped from joy and said I will give him all I have and so the work will get done. He went to the Man, and then the man said oh my friend don’t you worry I am always there for you and believe me I will protect you from all. He was so delighted and thus he gain started working and this time even harder than ever. The Man said I will tell you how to do things and what to do as I am your friend. He started handing over things to him so the Man had final results in his hand and the Man passed them to the master. The master stopped talking to him since he was getting everything from the Man. He was no where in the picture, he thought his friend is helping him and the master knew about his hard work. One day he decided to speak to the master, he went to the master and said Master oh my Master! My lord is so grateful that I have a master like you. The master said tell me what happened now? What have you done now? Master’s voice was grim and it shocked him completely. He again said oh master why are you angry at me? Master said oh! You stop bothering me with your questions; I am just feed up from you everybody complains about you I had to put my Man to get things done. You have become a plague for the people out there. He was astonished he felt on his knees and said Master oh my Master I know people complained against me but you know they were wrong their prejudice and snobbishness created your problem. I helped them even did their work and you man ask him he is my friend and he knows all about it. Then the master said yes I know he is your friend and he has been protecting you but see all the results came from him he is the one who did all the work you were just there doing nothing. He tried getting up from his knees and said my lord my master ask you man who worked and got all these for him? I did it master. I did it. Then came the Man and again they exchanged the slight as lovers. He thought his saviour is here he stood up straight and said to the master. My Master my lord now you have you man the one you trust more than me ask him my lord please ask him. His voice was stronger than earlier and he was standing straight, it looked like a wounded worrier mounting for his pride and fighting till his last drop of blood to defend his nation. The Master then turned to his man and said him to answer his question and tell him what has happened on the ground. Master’s voice was so thunderous that it gave shivers in the spin, but he stood straight facing them. Then the Man said Master you are right he was just there and I had to do all on my Owen. Everybody was so irritated with him and I was just managing all of this. I know how I have lived this. It was just for old time sake that we spared him, but know the time has come where we should take tough decisions. He is of no use and he deserves nothing, my master I am not telling you to be cruel but I just request you to be a King. The Master turned to him and he was still standing firm and then he said now you tell me do you plead guilty. He looked into his Master’s eyes just as an archer looks at his target, confident and with spark of joy which says that I will get this target. The Master repeated his question and his voice became bleak. He smiled and again they (he and the man) exchanged the site, this time it lasted a while. Both had a spark in their eyes the man had a fire which was burning high with the fuel of achievement and sense of appreciation. The man had the same glow in his eyes what a knight would have had when knighthood was awarded to him. On the other hand he had an unprecedented glow in his eyes which was so bright that it was even in lighting his face and his forehead was glowing like a star. Everybody was astonished with this reaction; a man who was just shattered by the words of his master is standing tough like a rock. The silence was broken by a hefty voice of the Master why don’t you answer my question. He smiled and said Master I do plead guilty and request you to punish me please don’t show your mercy on me I broke your confidence, I don’t deserve your mercy. I was set up for a failure and I failed you don’t need people like me, I am nobody to suggest anything but my lord what you need is men like those, your men! The master said what do you mean by set up for failure and who is this allegation for? He smiled again and said when there were people against me he was the one who fuelled them or may be pacified them but I was not made aware. You told me to handover things to him but he was given the credit since you never came to know that I am there doing everything. This is a huge learning but Master I am the one who dosn't want all this I know how to work and I just work to achieve things rather that doing nothing and taking credit. The mater said I know you deserve a punishment but I grant you mercy. He said no master no I can’t take your mercy I want death, at least give me the credit of my failure if not achievements. He pleaded like a victim pleading for mercy, but everybody was astonished and found it tough to believe that a man is pleading for punishment. He went to his Master and said oh my master do take all my position do take my Victoria cross but please give me my punishment I have given my sweet and blood for the same. I don’t even want a tomb stone on my grave but master give me my punishment. The generations to come will swear by your name. The master was shocked but he ordered, cut his head…….

Since they are Honourable Men!!!!!

There was a guy who worked worked and worked, dreaming to get on the heights he wanted to achieve. He was a silent worker burning his midnight oil to achieve the LARGER GOALS as suggested in his company. He was always praised for his work and never rewarded, but he took those words seriously and thought one day he will be rewarded. He achieved some goals for the company and thought he will be getting the reward this time. He was so happy for the same. He was praised by all and was preached as well.
Preaching 1: Everybody should be involved in the decision making process.
Preaching 2: You should always take your seniors advice.
Preaching 3: Never question your superiors.
Preaching 4: Whatever you achieve is a Team achievement and should be shared.
Preaching 5: Its your ship and you are the chief so make sure it dose good. Its not the cure its the caption that matters.
Now the results and consequences what a hard worker achieved out of these preaching and the underline meaning of these.
Result of preaching 1: Every decision was a vague approach and had no base, all the logic and data given by this guy were buried in these meetings and his so called seniors buried his approach as well. The best part was that if there were any thing positive what he said was either made negative or if they were unable to do the same they just changed the name. They called it theirs!Most of the time decision making exercise was a battle ground and if he wanted to be firm the Preaching 2 came in his way.
Result of preaching 2: He went to everybody with his brilliant ideas. They were thrashed in the light of preconceived notion and assumptions. The unwillingness to accept anything from a new person made his ideas a subject of joke. Though people outside did appreciate his work, Intelligence and devotion for work. He kept on improving his ideas in the hope that one day they will like it and they even liked it sometimes just that they changed the name plate on the same. He never questioned them since the Preaching 3 came in his way.
Result of preaching 3: He was told to shed his armour which he earned by giving his blood since there are others who need it. He was told to work hard as a worker in diamond mine and hand over the diamond to others since they deserve to be draped by it. He was told to do all the work for others and handover to them as they need to have the pie as well. He wanted to know why this is happening but the Preaching 4 came in his way.
Result of preaching 4: He worked and achieved his goals and contributed into the LARGER GOALS as well. He assumed that he will be recognized for the same, if nothing else he will get a pat on his back. His expectations were trashed and he saw all his work getting credited to others. He was left alone he was a lonely man in the crowed with nobody on his side. He didnt stop and thought someday somebody will say him thanks, but it never happened. He never wanted to be praised but at least mentioned for his contribution. The cake was cut there were claps but not for him nether he had a share. He wanted to ask why? But the preaching said it belongs to all. He agreed to the same but was confused that the concept of all doesnt have his name. He wanted to question why but Preaching 5 came in his way as the caption is there to give applauds and support not to quest for them.
Result of preaching 5: If there was a mistake done by anybody he was the one fixing it. If there were any rewards he was not mentioned. He thought thats the trade I am the caption I should get things going no matter what. Then there was a storm and he worked hard to get the ship out of it. He made it sail and then sailed the same out of bad whether and unfavourable conditions.
Then the time came when he was asked to leave the ship as the ship was assigned a new caption. He wanted to question that when he needed somebody nobody helped him. He was sailing alone in the storm and now when its sunny and calm and he can make this sail in a good direction he is asked to quit. He was told that the ship was shaking in the storm and now we will have somebody who can control that.When he was asked to leave he requested that can he for once address all of them, he was even refused for the same.
He was deserted on a lonely island and then he realised what the preaching really meant and what have it done to him?
Then he realized what has really happened. Preaching 1 was just a straight forward direction which said do as you are told to. You are nobody to make decision you are there to follow them. Since the people around you are your seniors they have a lobby and above all, they are Honourable Men. They are the one who are always right. Preaching 2 was a reiteration of the old prophecy that idea are not generated they are owned by these Honourable men. So if you have any either dont speak or if you do so you should be ready to face the consequences. Preaching 3 just meant a very simple thing; you should bow in front of them and be in the helm of these Honourable men. Preaching 4 was the simplest one as it said very clearly what ever is achieved is an all because of your hard work, but we are not thankful to you. All the credit and applauds go to these Honourable men. Since they are the one used to it and they are the one who will get it no matter what you do. Preaching 5 was the best of the jokes anybody cracked at you, you are the caption so you need to sail the ship. You are even required to row the same; in adverse situation even if the ship shakes its your fault. No matter how hard you have tried to control it as well as how bad are the storms. Since these men are here to eat the cakes not to sweat in baking them.Since they are honourable men so they will be rewarded they will be praised, what if they dont appreciate you, what if they dont put an effort to get things done. There will be applauds for them and all the crowed will bow inform for them. Since they are honourable men so you will be in their helm no matte how much you know or you devote. They are the future of country they are there to rule not to be advised. They are here to lead the stride not to walk with them and share the pain.
Since They are Honourable men and thus they are Lambs for Lions.

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Buying Your Guilt

Buying you’re guilt:
There are times in life when you know that you are guilty of a crime. Nobody will know of that or it may happen even everybody knows about that you won’t get punished. This is the time when you try to buy you’re guilt and you comfortably name the same as help, favour or whatever suits you’re vocabulary. This is the time when you truly have and fight within yourself. The fight between the innocent kid and the tampered self image, the reason I used the word tampered since the image we are referring to is created by you’re surrounding and may have a little of you left in the same. Well the kid is ready to accept the fault is ready to say sorry and live with the fact that he is guilty. The image is not ready to accept the fact he says that it’s not big enough a crime to be punished or to apologetic. Even though the fact is only the sufferer and at many occasions not even the sufferer can asses that how big are the crime or the actual intensity and impact of the action (crime).
Now starts the negotiation and this is a raw deal at the beginning. Should I accept the crime or I shouldn’t, since we know accepting the crime will mean punishment embarrassment and so on, not accepting will mean that you are not a good guy and you will have to be associated with this guilt. In our day to day life this is to raw to accept we are used to the diluted or sugar coated version on both the fronts. Now starts the politically correct phase of negotiation and this starts with “who doesn’t make a mistake?” “I am god, I am just a plain simple human” and then the sentimental aspect coated with our ego self acclaimed pride and the very own tapered self image “I can’t just go ahead and die in guilt neither I can ruin my image by accepting my crime. This is too harsh a punishment”. After all these metaphorical excuses, we do one good thing somewhere down the line we explore our self and become a bit closer to our inner self the true +ive and –ive within us. I will tell you the benefits latter. So now starts the buying tricks, you start thinking what you have in you’re kitty which you can give to buy the same. This is when we go ahead and start giving things which are actually there to help us morally and we project it that it is meant for the sufferer. This is the time we realize that all of are good and have the ability to be good in what ever way we can. This is the time when we actually even go an extra mile to help those who are hurt by our actions. We actually keep on trying till the time we get a comfort that we have done some good to compensate our sins. This action may even stop when we actually start hurting us in some way by actually helping those hurt by us. This is the time you realize the actual intensity of pain since you are the person delivering as well as receiving the same. This is how we land up being relaxed and somehow think we have done all what it requires to be done to compensate our crime. This may not be always appropriate, but it will be cynical to label it absolutely useless. This may benefit the person harmed and hurt with you’re actions. At the same time we may land up just convincing our self that we have done the best and make our self comfortable. Irrespective of the fact that how this has benefited the other party. This is what I term buying you’re guilt at your own convenient and price.

Now let’s look at the positive aspect of this self acclaimed calmness therapy of buying you’re guilt:
As I mentioned above that there is a deep self realising phase when you accept the fact that there has been a mistake from you’re end. Let’s stop here and look into our self and analyze why this happened what compelled us to do the same. You will find that many a time it’s nothing very big or critical, most of the time it starts with very small issues and piles up to be a bunch of small issues and a crime at the end. Many things are just a reaction of our denial mode. The very acceptance of the fact or just an imposed identity associated with us in our tampered self image. The second benefit is when you actually analyze you’re +ive and –ive you get a chance not only to identify the same as well as an opportunity to work on the same. If you can use this as an opportunity it may happen that the situations and action which compel you to get into things like this will reduce and they may reduce substantially.

Now let’s look at the negative aspect of this:
To start the series I will first like to ask a question that how do we feel when we are at the receiving end.
The prime negative aspect is that this is pretty addictive and if you will look around most of us are addicted to this. What happens out of this is we get so used to it that we miss the entire self realization step and just get into the negotiation and finalize a rate and the worst happens when we get so acquainted to this system that we directly go ahead and make a conclusive statement. Something like” What can I do it happened since it had to” or “It cannot be my mistake always, they deserved it” and the best “I am not an evil, neither a god, it just happened and that’s it I can’t help it I need to move on, forget it “.
There can be many scenario and many –ive out of it but there is one aspect which is on the very boundary of +ive and –ive of this act. This is when we are evaluating our self we may get carried off by the fact that there has been mistake from our end. We land up getting so compelled by the grief and softer aspect associated with the same that we in spite of buying our guilt start punishing our self. This may get harsh and even harm you’re actual existence. So there should be an evaluation which is best to our strength there is no point being cynical and start felling that you are an evil of any sort. You should realize that punishing you’re self is not a solution in any way the solution is helping those who have been harmed and the fact that you should be strong enough to admit the same and pledge that you will not repeat the same.

This may sound a bit rude but in today’s world there are too many scenarios where we go ahead with this approach and we should try to create a balance in this act. If there is an appropriate balance then this will be a good act to follow. As a matter of fact there is a saying “Pashyatap maat karoo Prashchit karo”…which means… “Don’t repent rather take an action to rectify the same”.

My god blesses us…..

Regards
Kanishka Kumar Sinha